I Am My Adventure. You Are Your Adventure.

Below is an entry from my journal on February 2nd, 2013. I've been experiencing some inner turmoil and struggle recently (more on that later) and a still, quiet voice in my head keeps whispering, "Beyond the music. Beyond the noise..." At first, I thought of this post and then thought how cliché it was, but today, I finally opened it up and read it. And read my passion jump off the page. I know that quiet, still voice within me is the spirit of God at work. He's always doing stuff like that if I'll listen...

I thought this very personal story might be of service to you too.

  Beyond the music. Beyond the noise. Beyond the walls and laws and prisons and nets. Beyond the voices vying for attention. Beyond obligation, responsibility and the puffed-up facade of our irreplaceability. Beyond lust, need, want, must. Beyond image, worry, fear, care. Beyond belief, faith, known, and certainty. Beyond seeing what we expect, hearing what we want, living in a bubble of our own design. Beyond brands, reactions, insecurities, crutches, vices... Beyond all of that lies... possibility. My adventure. Beyond my poorly founded concerns on what other people "might" do, say, or think about me if I do, say or be a certain way awaits adventure.

The trick is following the voice of truth. The challenge is holding more than one contradiction in my head simultaneously. The pay-off is freedom, bliss, truth.

  A common question among the circles in which I frequent is, "If money were no object, what would you do with your life? How would you spend your time, resources, etc.?" Something about this question unsettled me but it's taken years to figure out what, why, and how.

The problem with this question is that it implies I'm not doing what I want now, I don't have what I want now, and I need to change some things to be, do, have those things I want... to be happy.

While I understand the purpose for the exercise, one very important flaw stands out. If I am not being/doing what I want - what gives me the most happiness now, with limited resources, time, etc. - then why would I be doing them later? After I follow the steps, work myself to death, and achieve freedom of resources?

So the value of the exercise is NOT to create a step-by-step plan for the future but to re-adjust things NOW.

  Money doesn't ignite my flames, stir my soul, nor really hold my attention. It's helpful, useful, necessary. But we've learned to be content with little or much. And too often, I've let money bar me from pursuing my dreams. 2013 is my year of NO-EXCUSES. No excuses. Period. While I've been waiting for that active, adventurous person to latch onto, to join in their adventures, I've been waiting for permission ... to live. All the while swimming in adventure through novels from the safety and comfort of my house, my couch, my bed. The only adventure I think I've taken, I paid a total of $10 grand for and still didn't come away full and satisfied (more on women and our ever-burning insecurity, feeling like a fraud, and placating with more education... later). So it's more than money. It's more than friends. It's more than exterior sources of motivation. It comes from within. It's the essence of desire. Forget "having an adventure. I AM my adventure!" Desire is lost to us in the 21st century. Replaced by lust and instant gratification. We've lost the hunger, the yearning of authentic, rough, edgy desire. Desire for life, for God, for love, for taste, for experiences, for the full scope of human thought, experience, and expression. Instead our culture serves me. Bring the movie, the goods, the groceries, the guy, the "adventure," to me. So I can have it. So I can get fit, skinny, lean. Then, I can be, do, have, what I want. There's nothing to want. To hunger for, to hurt for. And our immediate urges are satisfied to silence our questions, our discontent, our still voice whispering for something more, something deeper. Safety is not guaranteed. Pain is not avoided. Hardship is assured. Instead the lack of discipline guarantees we stay with the status quo. Content. Not happy but silent... for now. Robots. Never making mistakes because we never attempt anything difficult. No more wanting, having, asking. The time to live the adventure is NOW. The time to ask is past. I am my adventure. You are your adventure. Beyond the voices whispering, she's watching you, what will they think about your clothes? How will they react if you say the truth?  Beyond the chaos is...

... an expanse.

Of unexplored territory, experience, and potential.

Waiting...

for you,

for me,

for us to say YES! to our adventure.

The answer lies within you. The choice is yours.

What are you waiting for?

Timing? Permission? Perfection? None of that will ever happen. There are more soothing distractions and deceptions that lull us back to the status-quo where change is undesirable and pain (or even the possibility of pain) is avoided at all costs. The possibility is real. The potential awaits. The choice is yours. This journal chronicles my year of NO EXCUSES.  Of saying Yes! Of being my adventure, the party. Because if I had no cares, worries, or "obligations," I would SING at the top of my lungs. I would go DANCE. Oh, how I would dance. And I would go fast. As often as possible. I would look people in the eye and smile a winning simile! I would live with passion, curiosity, and excitement for life. I would live with no excuses. I made this declaration last Wednesday as I walked Scooby on an unseasonably warm afternoon. Awesome music. Wind in my face. Freedom. Bliss. Awakening. Desire. Love for life. *** I'm not ashamed to say that I have not lived all of 2013 with this NO EXCUSES approach, but I have made significant progress. And sometimes I just need a reminder about what is important to me, about what I stand for, about who I want to be in life.

In the comments below, describe a time in your life when you felt like taking the easy, comfortable, familiar route, but you didn't. What was it like? How did you grow? What advice do you have to a gal just starting her adventure? I cannot wait to read each and every comment! And I cannot wait to see women actively helping each other.

  XOXO-